A year inna Tree? Holy CARP!

It's been an entire year now that some U.C. Berkeley students(?) decided to save some trees by climbing into them and refusing to come down. The trees are happy, I'm sure, with all that free fertilizer - coming out of both ends.

"I like this tree, so to save it I'm gonna nail some boards to it." Um.....DUH!

This article is about a year old now as well, but it speaks plainly of the soft-headedness that pervades supposed "right thinking" people. Not the religious right, not the Republican right, heck, not even the right coast. Just, "I'm right and you're wrong. Nyah!"

These children weren't allowed to fall down enough onto concrete from high enough places when they were children. If they had been, maybe we wouldn't be wasting even the minimal amount of pixilated bits I'm producing right now. These are the kind of people that also advocate replacing sand with rubberized flooring in exterior parks. Anyone ever tell them what that material is made from?

Okay, I understand why they want to save the trees. I also understand why Berkeley wants to build a new stadium. Both sides are stump dumb, though. The kids for thinking their opinions mean much, and Berkeley for making such a big deal out of building a structure that has absolutely nothing to do with education, but has everything to do with how many "donations" the school can obtain.

The trees in question are, in fact protected. That's fine. However, one of the responders to the linked article states, "The current oak grove is a complex functioning ecosystem." Really? I don't think the odd squirrel, nesting bird, creeping crud, or a few lichen constitute much of an ecosystem. Especially now that for a year the apes in the trees have scared them all off. I have a couple of questions:

• The law that prohibits the cutting down of live oaks: it applies to the city or the county?
• If either, is the campus properly within either?

Since it is a government run institution, being a part of the U. C. system and governed by state appointees, I would think that it wouldn't. But, hey, what do I know? I'm just thinking logically. However, when dealing with anything having to do with law, logic and reason have been out to lunch for a very long time.

Current building codes of California are extremely strict about the redesign, refit, or rebuilding of any structure that lies directly on, or is sectioned in any way by an inherently active fault. At the time the building they are trying to "fix" was originally built, these codes were not as strict. They can build it, but it's going to cost a whole lot of money. Last figure I can recall was somewhere in the order of half a billion dollars (for those using British measurements, think 10x10^12 not 10x10^9) for studies, permits, consultants and (maybe) some construction. Heck, these are the guys who, in 1995, spent $1.5 million just to put real grass back into the stadium. Just grass. Which gets painted, trudged on, burnt with petroleum products, hammered, ground into mud, and ripped up, for all of which reasons it must be replanted every season. Probably at the same cost.

Hey, Dean, how many books could you buy for $1.5 million? How many students' educations could you completely pay for with $1.5 million?

Both of these groups should never be allowed near money. Heck, neither of these groups can think past their own ideologies enough to see what money is. And these are supposed to be the best and brightest. If they are, we are doomed.

I would have solved this thing in about a week. I'd give them that long to get the heck outta the tree. If they didn't, I wouldn't wait for the courts. Why? Well, ya see, we have this wonderful thing called a, "tranquilizer dart." We also have these things called, "foam mats." (Don't worry, Dean, the kinesthetics department can help you out with the mats. I know it's complicated for you.)

1. Put foam mats under trees
2. Use either a blowgun or a tranquiler rifle (both of which the Department of Fish and Wildlife can loan you) to pick 'em off
3. They fall onto mats
4. Anyone trying to get in the way gets a dart, too
5. You arrest them
6. Problem solved.

Well, that problem would be solved. there's still the issue of all that money being spent stupidly....

What? Too Violent for you? Think about that the next time you applaud the killing of a mountain lion simply because it's in someone's neighborhood. Or maybe the next time someone vilifies that same mountain lion when it attacks after being cornered by Joe red-neck and his beer-swillin' ape buddies building fires where they shouldn't and wondering what that rustlin' is inna bushes...